The Waitress..revised

Your waitress is the person who takes your food and beverage order, knows the menu and can enhance your meal by making suggestions. Those are the basics of her job.


The average server starts her shift at about 10 in the morning, but by then she's been up for several hours. Like most people, she may  have children, housework, school, or other, similar activities to tend to before she starts work.
Once at the job, she has to prepare her section for the day.
It's all very basic stuff, wipe the tables, chairs & booths, fill water pitchers, make coffee, set out all the prep items needed for making salads, get the sauces & dressings ready, fill the ice bins, make the ice tea, roll silverware, etc. And, at the end of the day, put it all away, label all the items with expiration dates, throw out the old, in with the new.
One thing you may not know is that many restaurants, even those big chains, no longer hire dishwashers for the day shifts. The servers and cooks do that.  As a matter of fact, many of them no longer have cleaning crews,  the closing servers and kitchen staff do that fun chore.  Picture this: the house is full, the guys in the kitchen are cooking, frying, tossing, chopping, heating at a break-neck speed, the servers have full sections, everything and everyone seems to be running about 30 seconds behind, the bus pans are full, the dishes are piling up in the dish-room and now in the middle of the rush there's no clean silverware.  Someone has to stop what they're  doing..waiting on you perhaps..to rack, then rinse the dirty dishes & silverware and send the rack through the dishwasher, but one rack just isn't enough, and the cooks are running out of pans.So, they do just enough to get by, hoping the plates & silverware come out clean because there certainly wasn't time to change the water in the dish machine. It takes more than five minutes to  drain, clean the food particles out of the mesh traps, and refill the machine.That colossally insane idea thought up by the corporate powers that be may save the company  money but it makes for some tense lunch rushes and more than a few pissed off employees. None of which has anything to do with you, the customer, other than to illustrate some of the behind the  scenes antics of those wacky restaurant servers and why they may not be in eyesight of you at every moment.
The amount of ice a restaurant can go through during a typical lunch would likely surprise you, and in many cases servers wait until there is no more ice in the bin before filling it because it's heavy, hard work and again, takes more minutes than they have to spare, so, they wait, hoping someone else fills the bin. So, one of the servers finally does the deed and  while filling it, the hosts have seated three more tables in her section, two tables are ready to leave and she has food up in the window, which thankfully, someone else will deliver.
Now, don't get me wrong, most servers can do this rather well.  This is what they signed up for, this is what they do. 

Here is where the education comes in.


When you let your small children go to the bathroom without you and they make a mess, the Good Housekeeping Fairy isn't the one who cleans it, the server is. And when you let your kids  drop all their food on the carpet, it's the server who cleans it, not the Magic Carpet Cleaning Fairy. So keep this in mind;
Yes, this is what your server signed up for, this is what she does, but  have a little courtesy,  use common sense, take some responsibility for your kids.  Don't send your small children to the bathroom alone.  
If they drop food on the carpet, no one expects you to clean it up.  What would be nice, though, is that you stop giving them the food they insist on throwing on the floor! They're babies, practically, this is what they do and they do it rather well. Just limit them!


When your server delivers your food and asks if you need anything and one person at the table says, "yes, can I get some more dressing?", your server replies, "sure..anyone else need anything?"..and you all say, "no..we're  good" so, your server goes to the kitchen to get more dressing and upon returning to the table, another person decides they need more dressing. Too bad, you had your chance, is what I say. One trip to the kitchen to get any extras you need is all you get, anything beyond that is rude and thoughtless. The server has five or six  other tables to cater to, you are not her only customers.


And, just so you know, the menu, unless otherwise stated, is not customizable. It really isn't ok to add to, subtract from, or generally create your own meal. Asking for no onions is one thing, completely changing a menu item is quite another. 


Bring a sweater.  The servers don't control the heat or air conditioning. One table says it's too cold, the next, too hot. You just can't please everyone.  It is so freaking hot in the kitchen that the staff will have no sympathy for you, so dress accordingly, wear short sleeves and bring a sweater, but do not complain to your server.


Servers make mistakes. It happens, but you know what? Big deal, get over it! So she brought you a diet instead of regular Coke. It was an error, not a crime.


When your server approaches your table, get off your phone/laptop/iPad. Give her the attention that she gives you. 
Do not snap your fingers at, holler across the room for, or interrupt your server when she is with another table.
Her name is not sweetie, honey, sugar, or any other asshole name you come up with.


And then there's the tipping thing. I know, there's no law that says you have to tip, but there is a law that says servers have to report them.  Sure, they can hid the cash tips, but not the debit card or credit card tips, which is how most people pay. Most restaurants require their servers to claim a percentage of their sales, whether they make that much or not.  So, it is not ok to stiff your server. And if you receive any kind of discount on your bill, remember, tip on the PRE-discounted bill, because that's the amount your server pays taxes on. If you can afford to go out and eat, you can afford a  tip.


Most of it is common sense, but some things, well, some things must be taught.